Beauty and the viral beast

THE APOCALYPSE IS NEAR!! Ebola!!

Run, flee, run for your lives my darlings, bath with salt water, no! bath with salt water with a page from the Book of Psalms dissolved in it and a strand of a rat's hair. Add a dash of anointing oil from that dude who told you he was a prophetic minister of good tidings. Whatever you do, DO NOT APPLY LOGIC TO YOUR PANIC.


And I will now stop being sarcastic.

Yes, due to the sheer willful ignorance and foolishness of my people (you all knew there was an outbreak for months in West Africa, you did nothing and took no precautions...shame on you.), the dreaded viral fever is here. How does it affect you as a makeup maven? Well, here are some things you can do to keep safe

• Don't share your makeup. Seriously, treat your sister as a potential infected victim. Eyeliner is the fastest way to transfer body fluids from one person to another via makeup. Also, are you getting married soon and hiring a makeup artist? Nne, buy your own eyeliner and give her to use on you. A corpse bride is not what that dude wedding you bargained for.

•  Don't share your razor blade Some of you will whip out your razor to give your friend Yinka once she complains of stray brow hairs. If you love Yinka, you will buy a pack of razors and give her a new one. My sister once asked me for my razor blade, when I refused her, she asked me if I thought she had HIV. I looked her in the eye and said "yes". One day, we'll be friends again. Besides, "tush" babes use TWEEZERS.

• Wash your hands often and look good: in these perilious times, you should look even more stunning. MAC lipstick in Lady Danger is so nice, you should swipe some on before going to the hospital to see the very goodlooking, single, has-a-british-accent Consultant Virologist to enquire about more Ebola facts. (yes, he took me out to lunch later).

• Hand Sanitiser has become pricier than bleaching cream, so here's how to make some: Buy Methylated Spirit (Isopropyl Alcohol) 70% or more, add a little glycerin, ce fini 

• Avoid crowded areas and bathe after coming from those places. Slather on some Sweet Almond oil on your face (fights wrinkles beautifully!) and stay beautiful. If the US drug ZMapp makes everyone zombies, you wanna be a pretty zombie. Amirite?

 Jokes apart, please stay safe and be cautious. Some crazy people will still invade your space and insist on touching you (someone I don't really know just touched my shoulder, as by-force greeting. Luckily my shirt had short sleeves. But still!).

We're going to make it. Signing out, take care.

Still more fashion work

I don't like me right now...I'm working on a job that takes most of my time and I would like to take this opportunity to say a shout-out to all those wives and mothers who work 9-5, face Lagos traffic and run home to cook and care for their families. YOU ARE AMAZING. I could slap someone at the end of each day, I'm so tired. Kai! Dear future-Nory, you BETTER be rich enough that the most worrying thing in my life is getting videoed while I beat my sister's hubby in an elevator.

Too soon? okay, okay, no more jokes on Solange...

I shot this a while back with uber-talented photog Emmanuel Oyeleke ( Hi Emmanuel! I miss you "waves").

That was a tough shoot for me (no, makeup work is rarely shits, giggles and glitter #DoseOfReality, kids) because the weather was soooo hot. I hope you guys like it though.

In hindsight, I feel (and I think you will agree with me) that products such as Laura Mercier oil-free primer under the foundation will help it hold on stronger to your face, wipe with Witch Hazel as a toner before (to reduce oil). Also eyeshadow will not crease if you go with Too Faced shadow primer under it (that primer is stronger than concrete mehnnn) and a super-duper waterproof eyeliner like Milani waterproof, Make Up For Ever Aqua Black or Bobbi Brown Gel liner.

So, take care till we are freeeee!!!

Let's go Salsa-loca

Hola, amigos, com' esta?

That's the only Spanish I know (that, counting 1-10 and "No, I'm not interested, just buy me a drink please". Don't ask me why I know that). Recently, I found myself out of breathe when climbing stairs and generally tired. So my doctor told me to add some aerobics to my lifestyle. Yep, he said "go and exercise, you're getting fat". Gorilla -__-

I tried jogging (got so bored and all the dust), skipping (does this jumping up and down give me wrinkles?), bicycle-riding (aarghh, I just fell off), swimming (mehn, the other chicks at the pool look so hot in their skimpy bikinis, shame caught me). Nothing was really working and my waistline was expanding. So my friend Win-Win invited me to go latin-dancing with her (dances like salsa, merengue, bachata, kizomba). I believe my first thoughts when I got there was:

"na wa for una, your ancestors didn't do this, they were content with Atilogwu, waddya mean I have to do turns in high heels, do I wear heels normally, una don marry sef, abegi I can't whip mah hair sexily like Shakira, it's natural, guy your finger will tangle inside if you attempt to run it through mah afro, I don't even understand dis music, wetin be dis craze, ehh?"

I kept an open mind, and I'm glad I did. Omo, you should see me, and now I wear hot outfits and heels every Thursday night. Even my sarcastic sister has started thanking God for my new lease on life.

So it got me wondering: "what type of makeup will last on my face during such exertion?"

Here are a few tried and tested products I think will make the grade:

Eyes: Revlon Colorstay eyeliner, Make Up For Ever Aqua Black eyeliner, Milani Liquif'eye metallic eyeliner (my new favourite), Bobbi Brown gel eyeliner, Maybelline Color Tattoo 24 hr cream shadow (my other new favourite. Maybelline Great Lash mascara amd Make Up For Ever mascara.

Lips: pretty much anything that has a lot of pigment and will pop and draw attention to your lips when you're doing a slow back-arch to the floor. Try Maybelline Colorsensational lipstick in Neon Red, MAC matte lipstick in Lady Danger, Sleek pout paint in Pinkini or Port Red, MAC lipstick in Ruby Woo (combine this with Zaron lip pencil in Red for a killer), Flormar Lipsticks, Black Up Jumbo lippencil (lip-pencil and lipstick combined in one), Julie Hewett Icons lipsticks (these are to die for).

from left: Laura Mercier oil-free primer, Julie Hewett lipstick, Black Up jumbo lippencil, Flormar lipstick, Maybelline Colorsensational lipstick, Sleep pout paint, MAC lipstick, Zaron lippencil, Maybelline 24-hr cream shadows, Bobbi Brown gel liner, MUFE Aqua eyes liner, Milani Liquif'eye liner, Maybelline Great Lash and Colossal Volume mascaras, Bodyography primer

I'll pretty much leave off powder, it can get gross having that sweat roll into thickly applied powder. Instead, why not opt for a matifying primer and Clean and Clear Blotting sheets, to keep the oil off, and you'll need some face tissues, to dab sweat off. There is a foundation that does hold up pretty well under these conditions, but it'll be my little secret for now (wink).

If you know you've got a hot night out, feel free to rock any of these. Salsa happens on Thursdays and Saturdays at Piccolo Mondo, Idejo street, VI. and there are salsa classes tuesdays and wednesdays. Just ask.

And if you're a married couple, grab your man and go learn Kizomba, a hot new Angolan dance, all I can say is ABEG NO DULL, GO LEARN IT GURL. In 9 months' time, come back with your testimony.

Makeover Special

Dear blog readers, the universe attacked  me and I had some very weird accidents. But I'll live, thankfully.
I grabbed my sister-in-law and decided to give her a quickie. I meant quick makeover, perverts.

Face prep: Vichy Thermale Cleansing water, Dickinsons Witch Hazel,    Laura Mercier oil free foundation primer, Aquaphor, The Body Shop Vitamin E eye cream.

Face: Make Up For Ever HD foundation, Milani secret cover concealer, Zaron pressed powder
Eyes: Nouba eyeshadows,  MAC eyeshadow in All that Glitters and Estee Lauder eyeshadow in Russet,MAC eyepencil in Smoulder, Maybelline Collosal Volume mascara, Davis eyepencil
Cheeks: La Femme blush palette
Lips: Eversheen pencil and Milani lipstick in Bellatini.

It's a very wearable look which will fit any skintone.

Till next time!

Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's MAYBELLINE

Hey guys. Light, Love and Sunshine is here again (had some issues, let me warn you, do NOT watch an eclipse in a bowl of water and run down steps in heels. You WILL regret both those actions).

Drugstore retail giant, Maybelline, has come officially to Nigeria! Woohoo, because they are makers of one of the world's most iconic mascaras, Maybelline Great Lash mascara. Maybelline sponsored the just-concluded Lagos Fashion and Design Week 2013, and yours truly worked backstage with the team, and it was great.

The company also kindly shared goodies with the team, so I got to do some brand catch-up:

I played with it first thing next morning (hey, forgive my makeup mistakes, I was 3/4 asleep) and here's how it came out:

 I used the Color Tattoo cream eyeliners on my eyes, Colossal Volume mascara on my lashes, Color Sensational lipsticks in Red and Neon Red on my lips, Eyebrow pencil in dark brown and Pressed Powder in Mocha to contour subtly.

Their Color Tattoo creamliners are PHENOMENAL. I mean, if those liners were a dude, they would be a tall, dark-skinned looker who went to an ivy league university abroad and has a great job in Nigeria and has no commitment issues and thinks you're beautiful after you've woken up from sleeping in a room with no AC. Yup, that good. The Color Tattoo liners last a full 24-hours, models would come back the next day and still have them on, I had to use some cleanser to take it off and they are soooo smooth to apply.

The Color sensational lipsticks are a creamy dream, first swipe give you see-through glossy colour, second swipe full-on power.

Their mascaras, well, you probably own one already, because y'all are Divas.

Check out the line, go shopping and have a Maybelline day!

Line Like You Mean It

Hello there, back with another blog post title from a band I really like, The Killers.

Eyeliner is an amazing product and it's probably the first piece of makeup everyone steals from their Mummy's handbag as a child. But some out there can be super-annoying: hard, don't release colour well, don't have a smooth texture, expensive for what you're getting, blah blah...

I mean, seriously, Life is tough already. My eyeliner shouldn't be.

I've tried out a few brands, and decided to put all my black eyeliners to the test of long-lasting longevity. I wanted to know, which would last through a crying session of "OMG, Bez Idakula the singer is engaged, I thought I'd meet him one day and we'd get married and have natural-haired babies who play guitar and paint watercolours, mah life izzz overrrrrr"

MAC pencil in Smoulder, Rimmel eyeliner pencil, Face Atelier Powder pencil, Zaron Khol Kajal, MAC waterproof pencil in Engraved, Bobbi Brown gel liner, MUFE Aqua black cream liner

Swatches of all the liner

And swatches of all the liners after I washed my hand with soap and water lightly

I'm not going to make a decision or tell you what I think, I just wanted to show you how they acted under circumstances like water (a sweaty bride or client on a hot day or just any gal with oily skin, take note).

So, as per eyeliner, what's in Your wallet?

Editor's note: We at Naijapretty and Noredia Mua wish Bez congratulations and a happy married life.